David Ortiz's Beard = Nike's Swoosh
Busy today, kids. I'm writing an assigned story that I'm pretty much dragging myself through. I'm pretty sure the topic has been written about a million times before, no one is saying anything interesting and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to incite them to do so. The upside is that even though I'm bored to tears, because I work from home I'm able to write the story wearing a tee-shirt, panties and my new white Jordan hydro slides (which I love to pieces), whilst listening to Amy Winehouse and munching on a box of Honey Nut O's cereal. And of course in between every call I take blog breaks, which brings me back to this adorable video I came across just now on Deadspin. It's a Tina Cervasio interview with Manny Ramirez and his stylist in his hotel room. Beyond the weird comparisons the team haircutter, "LMonstro" makes between Ortiz's beard and the Nike swoosh, there's this weird sexual tension floating in the air, inspired no doubt by the interview's location, the funny topic and what I'm thinking is a case of genetic makeup that makes it impossible for a Dominican man NOT to flirt with a pretty female. Watch just to hear Manny state emphatically: "When you look good, you play good!!"
UPDATE: Normally I would go back in and edit the post, but in the interest of being honest, I'm gonna use this moment to point out one of my foibles as a writer. Note how in the first two sentences of this post, I use "pretty" once each in consecutive sentences. And then when I'm talking about the video, I use "weird" twice in one sentence. I do that shit all the time and it drives me nuts. You'd think given that I'm a flipping college graduate I'd have the vocabulary to think of another adjective besides "pretty" or "weird" but apparently not!
Anyway, I'm off to a Yankee game. If the game doesn't get rained out and you happen to tune in, look for me about four rows back from where Derek Jeter takes his warm-up swings. I sat in the same seats for two games last year and I don't believe there are any posher ones in the stadium. I'll be checking to see if Robbie is still spending most of his warm-up scanning the crowd for pretty senoritas and just seeing what his friend Melky does before he comes up to bat since he is currently my heart's favorite Yankee (I'll be wearing his tee), and he didn't play in the games I attended last year. Yes I know--between these tickets and the freedom to work in my underwear, I am one lucky woman.
POSTGAME UPDATE: Robbie Cano still very much scans the crowd for hotties during his so-called warm-up bats. A coworker of mine thinks it's because he's such a gifted player that at times the game gets boring for him. That could be true in part, but mostly I think it's 'cause he's a young, single man who's thinking about getting laid a lot. As for what Melky, aka "Leche," does during his warm-up time, there's not a lot of interesting going on there. He keeps his back to the crowd the whole time.
I did hear some interesting gossip at the game. Wanna hear? I thought so. Word on the street is that the mistress that Alex was caught up with last week was the same one that David Wright was dating last year. This news is courtesy of a friend of some guys who work in broadcasting. I'm told they viewed the fact that Alex took Dave's leftovers as yet another knock on his personality.
It's a total rumor, but it seems entirely plausible to me. I've heard that most athletes these days stick to professionals (more costly yes, but only about 1,000 percent more sensible that effing the barely legal teen who, you find out after the fact, keeps a scrapbook of your headlines and only stopped bringing her "I heart" posters to the games last year) so it makes sense that there's some repeat business among the women who have learned to work the MLB circuit. What's funny to me is that despite the ratings potential this latest twist has stayed secret. Guys and all their codes of silence crack me up. Listening to the broadcasts during the time Alex's spot was being blown up worldwide, you'd think the event was a no-hitter-in-progress the way announcers avoided talking about it.
POSTGAME UPDATE NO. 2: EVIDENCE!!
My buddy Al sent me this image from the Yankee's game last night. It's Robbie caught red-handed!!
^^NOT looking for Rudy Guiliani's mug! (Thanks, Al. This is gonna make me chuckle all morning.)
