Tuesday, June 12, 2007

David Ortiz's Beard = Nike's Swoosh

Busy today, kids. I'm writing an assigned story that I'm pretty much dragging myself through. I'm pretty sure the topic has been written about a million times before, no one is saying anything interesting and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to incite them to do so. The upside is that even though I'm bored to tears, because I work from home I'm able to write the story wearing a tee-shirt, panties and my new white Jordan hydro slides (which I love to pieces), whilst listening to Amy Winehouse and munching on a box of Honey Nut O's cereal. And of course in between every call I take blog breaks, which brings me back to this adorable video I came across just now on Deadspin. It's a Tina Cervasio interview with Manny Ramirez and his stylist in his hotel room. Beyond the weird comparisons the team haircutter, "LMonstro" makes between Ortiz's beard and the Nike swoosh, there's this weird sexual tension floating in the air, inspired no doubt by the interview's location, the funny topic and what I'm thinking is a case of genetic makeup that makes it impossible for a Dominican man NOT to flirt with a pretty female. Watch just to hear Manny state emphatically: "When you look good, you play good!!"

UPDATE: Normally I would go back in and edit the post, but in the interest of being honest, I'm gonna use this moment to point out one of my foibles as a writer. Note how in the first two sentences of this post, I use "pretty" once each in consecutive sentences. And then when I'm talking about the video, I use "weird" twice in one sentence. I do that shit all the time and it drives me nuts. You'd think given that I'm a flipping college graduate I'd have the vocabulary to think of another adjective besides "pretty" or "weird" but apparently not!

Anyway, I'm off to a Yankee game. If the game doesn't get rained out and you happen to tune in, look for me about four rows back from where Derek Jeter takes his warm-up swings. I sat in the same seats for two games last year and I don't believe there are any posher ones in the stadium. I'll be checking to see if Robbie is still spending most of his warm-up scanning the crowd for pretty senoritas and just seeing what his friend Melky does before he comes up to bat since he is currently my heart's favorite Yankee (I'll be wearing his tee), and he didn't play in the games I attended last year. Yes I know--between these tickets and the freedom to work in my underwear, I am one lucky woman.

POSTGAME UPDATE: Robbie Cano still very much scans the crowd for hotties during his so-called warm-up bats. A coworker of mine thinks it's because he's such a gifted player that at times the game gets boring for him. That could be true in part, but mostly I think it's 'cause he's a young, single man who's thinking about getting laid a lot. As for what Melky, aka "Leche," does during his warm-up time, there's not a lot of interesting going on there. He keeps his back to the crowd the whole time.

I did hear some interesting gossip at the game. Wanna hear? I thought so. Word on the street is that the mistress that Alex was caught up with last week was the same one that David Wright was dating last year. This news is courtesy of a friend of some guys who work in broadcasting. I'm told they viewed the fact that Alex took Dave's leftovers as yet another knock on his personality.

It's a total rumor, but it seems entirely plausible to me. I've heard that most athletes these days stick to professionals (more costly yes, but only about 1,000 percent more sensible that effing the barely legal teen who, you find out after the fact, keeps a scrapbook of your headlines and only stopped bringing her "I heart" posters to the games last year) so it makes sense that there's some repeat business among the women who have learned to work the MLB circuit. What's funny to me is that despite the ratings potential this latest twist has stayed secret. Guys and all their codes of silence crack me up. Listening to the broadcasts during the time Alex's spot was being blown up worldwide, you'd think the event was a no-hitter-in-progress the way announcers avoided talking about it.

POSTGAME UPDATE NO. 2: EVIDENCE!!

My buddy Al sent me this image from the Yankee's game last night. It's Robbie caught red-handed!!

^^NOT looking for Rudy Guiliani's mug! (Thanks, Al. This is gonna make me chuckle all morning.)

6 comments:

Al said...

They don't say "it's a Dominican thing" for nutin'

The reporter is the boston's version of Kim Jones. she must interview manny 100 times a year.

you may wanna install a pay-per-view webcam.

no really, what you're doing sounds innocuous, but show some leg and the cash spicket opens ("Girl cams" & "Dorm cams")

look at all that fuss they made over the boring lonely girl.

Hey, last year, I was the 5th ranked channel on youtube, lonely girl edged me out by a few thousand hits and landed in 3rd place.

I was shocked. I had no idea boring polysci could complete with horney teens.

Lois said...

Webcam? I'm thinking that the days where you can make money just being yourself in front of your camera are over.

Jeebus, Al, ranked 5th?? That is awesome! And look at all the press that chica got compared to you. When you're ranked that high, does YouTube contact or acknowledge you or, better yet, PAY you for all the traffic you drive to its site?

Al said...

That's what I was thinking. I thought things would die down, but I got 3-4 of million hits in Feb. Not bad for 4 days work.

effing youtube shut me down, claiming copywrite infringement. losing all the work is one thing, but losing all your subscription, that's another.

I don't get the arod/wright thing. why is she considered a "left over?" What? Where is it written you can date someone's ex - professional poll worker or not. It not like Jetes is dating virgins (at least, I hope not).

Though, I see how someone dating multiple stars would be grist, just look at kardazzian.

Last year, the Mets' Paul Lo Ducca blew up the house with an 18 year old paramour. she was really funny, but his wife waaaaay better lookin'

http://tinyurl.com/238ys8

http://tinyurl.com/2kqhyg

Al said...

TOO FUNNY!!

I just snagged this picture of Robbie from tonite's game (6.13.07)!

Yeah, tonite's game, the one that ended, oh, 3 1/2 hours ago.

http://tinyurl.com/2jwtq6

Al said...

There's a story here.

There's a good reason why he's not supposed to be looking into the stands. He's supposed to be watching at the breaks and movements of the pitches and getting his timing ready. Aside from home plate and 2nd base, that's the best angle of the pitcher's arm, motion, release, and wind-up.

That he's being allowed to do this tells me its part of his prep. That is, the view from the on-deck circle screws him up at the plate or something as simple as a superstition. Has to be. Given his age, the coaches wouldn't put up bad prep without good reason.

Something you (or someone you know) may wanna write about.

Lois said...

Yeah, I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I think it's just how he prepares mentally for the at bat. And who knows, maybe he's looking for family members or just checking out the crowd in general as a way to distract himself.